Post by Ash on May 3, 2009 13:39:20 GMT -6
* The first day of the end of the world...or at least that's what people are beginning to say. In the place where it all began: New York City...well began per say in another dimension? Here, and in many other places across the planet, a rip in the fabric of reality appeared in the sky. And a man from another dimension emerged.*[/color]
Ash: Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!![/b]
* From the sky Ash Williams plummeted toward the earth from a flash in the sky. With a loud crash he lands inside of a New York City dumpster. Needless to say this wasn't a pleasurable occurrence. From dumpster emerged Ashley J. Williams. World Traveler and traveler between worlds. Adventurer. "Hero". Retail clerk. As Ash was attempting to get his footing inside this dumpster a slow moving dark silhouette appears from the shadows of this dank, dark alley.*[/color]
Silhouette: Fooooodddddd.....[/color]
* As Ash goes to turn around he grabs an old soup can and flings it at the silohette...which turns out to be a lowly homeless woman.*[/color]
Ash: Get your stinkin' paws outta here, ya dang dirty dumpster diver!
* As Ash gets out of the dumpster he pursues the hobo and throws an apple core at her head and it bounces off her head with a thud. *[/color]
Ash: Scrounge somewhere else ya degenerate, and let an inter-dimensional hero get his barrings!
* Ash stops and looks around his surroundings as the hobo runs off scared. Ash scratches his head with his mechanical right hand. *[/color]
Ash:...once I figure out where this somewhere is. Hmm, funny. Thought I was dead. Last thing I remember...[/b]
* Ash has a flashback of him standing in what appeared to be a state of limbo and voice saying, "Walk toward the light, Ashley Williams." "What, the giant search light looking thingy?" Yes, Ashley Williams. Walk toward it." "What if I don't wanna? I mean, it could be just about anything at this point, right? Could be that infernal book tryin' to mess with my head again." "Would you just walk toward the damn light Ash?!" "Whoa! Ok, keeps your panties on!"....and then there was a bright flash before he could do anything and he was in a dumpster. Ash looks around the alley again and then shrugs. *[/color]
Ash: Well, guess I ain't dead after all. I'm pretty sure heaven would have less garbage. And sure, it smells like hell, but don't see any devil. At least...
* Just then Ash watches a full grown man wearing red pajamas, a giant "DD" on his chest and devil horns on his head. He also appears to be swinging through the air by some kind of rope type thing.*[/color]
Ash:...any devil I know.
* Ash reaches back for his sawed off double barrel shotgun he's deemed his "boomstick". It's gone.*[/color]
Ash: Damn, what I wouldn't give for my boomstick or chainsaw right now....
* And with that there's another slight flash in the sky right above Ash and a duffel bag falls from the sky, leveling Ash to the ground. Ash gets up grumbling, grabbing the bag as he looks up at the sky. *[/color]
Ash: Yeah, REAL funny. Bunch of chuckles....[/b]
* Ash pulls out his "boomstick". He checks to see if it's loaded and it is. He closes the gun and places it back in its sheath on his back. He closes up the duffel bag and makes his way down the street. *[/color]
Voice: Ashley Williams...[/color]
Ash: Huh?
* Ash turns toward the entrance of another one of those dark, dank alleys to see that old woman from before looking all Deadite like and floating in the hair....and appearing to be having an even worse hair day with her hair floating everywhere. *[/color]
Ash: Oh I thought I was rid of you, ya old biddy!
Deadite: No matter where you travel, for as long as you live, you'll never be rid of...the Necronomicon! Heed my warning Ashley Williams. We have seen the future: This world will die and an army of the dead will rise! [/color][/b]
Ash: Oh yeah? Well here's what I think of that...[/b]
* With that Ash drills a stiff left into the deadite's jaw, knocking it senseless onto the ground. Ash then grabs his trusty chainsaw from his bag, takes off his mechanical hand placing it in his bag, and connects the chainsaw to his right wrist. He starts the saw and straddles the deadite with the chainsaw raised into the air. Ash grabs the deadite by the throat. *[/color]
Ash: Alright, ya wrinkled up sack of deadite scum. Next on the menu...crone cutlets!
* Then, right as Ash was about to lay the death blow to the deadite, he's sent sailing off into a group of trash cans. As he hits his chainsaw dies. He gets up grumbling and kicks garbage cans out of his way. He brushes himself off with his left hand and begins to turn around.*[/color]
Ash: Oh, so I see that the ol' granny deadite here still has some tricks up her,
* Ash stops talking. The deadite was gone. He tilts his head as if to try and examine what exactly is standing where he was kneeling. It has rather long canines....and is slobbering blood. Nah, really?[/color]
Ash: Oh great! It's not bad enough I have to deal with stupid, uncoordinated zombie things...but NOW I have to deal with blood sucking vampires![/b]
* Ash grabs the bridge of his nose and begins to massage it as if getting a headache. Then the vampire growls and begins to make his move toward Ash. Ash notices this and goes to start his chainsaw. Nothing. He tries again. Still nothing. *[/color]
Ash: Oh for the love a,
* The vampire leaps through the air toward Ash. Then, as a last ditch effort, Ash pulls out his "boomstick". He points and fires and the shot echoes throughout the area. The vampires head explodes everywhere and the body crashes into the ground right at Ash's feet. Ash smirks and places a boot on the carcass as he twirls the shotgun around, blows the smoke from the barrel, and sheaths his "boomstick".[/color]
Ash: Be it the dead, living dead, or just the living stupid...Ashley J. Williams is re,
* Just then Ash looks down at his shirt. He grabs his shirt and pulls it away from him in disgust. Pieces of the vampire's blown up head was now taking up residence on Ash's shirt...his ONLY shirt to boot. He grabs his bag, replacing his mechanical hand and placing the saw back in his bag. He puts the strap to the bag over his shoulder as he begins to walk down the street. He looks down at his shirt again and throws his arms into the air.*[/color]
Ash: Great! Now I have to figure out a way to get this dang thing washed![/b]
* Ash continues down the street.*[/color]
Ash: Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!![/b]
* From the sky Ash Williams plummeted toward the earth from a flash in the sky. With a loud crash he lands inside of a New York City dumpster. Needless to say this wasn't a pleasurable occurrence. From dumpster emerged Ashley J. Williams. World Traveler and traveler between worlds. Adventurer. "Hero". Retail clerk. As Ash was attempting to get his footing inside this dumpster a slow moving dark silhouette appears from the shadows of this dank, dark alley.*[/color]
Silhouette: Fooooodddddd.....[/color]
* As Ash goes to turn around he grabs an old soup can and flings it at the silohette...which turns out to be a lowly homeless woman.*[/color]
Ash: Get your stinkin' paws outta here, ya dang dirty dumpster diver!
* As Ash gets out of the dumpster he pursues the hobo and throws an apple core at her head and it bounces off her head with a thud. *[/color]
Ash: Scrounge somewhere else ya degenerate, and let an inter-dimensional hero get his barrings!
* Ash stops and looks around his surroundings as the hobo runs off scared. Ash scratches his head with his mechanical right hand. *[/color]
Ash:...once I figure out where this somewhere is. Hmm, funny. Thought I was dead. Last thing I remember...[/b]
* Ash has a flashback of him standing in what appeared to be a state of limbo and voice saying, "Walk toward the light, Ashley Williams." "What, the giant search light looking thingy?" Yes, Ashley Williams. Walk toward it." "What if I don't wanna? I mean, it could be just about anything at this point, right? Could be that infernal book tryin' to mess with my head again." "Would you just walk toward the damn light Ash?!" "Whoa! Ok, keeps your panties on!"....and then there was a bright flash before he could do anything and he was in a dumpster. Ash looks around the alley again and then shrugs. *[/color]
Ash: Well, guess I ain't dead after all. I'm pretty sure heaven would have less garbage. And sure, it smells like hell, but don't see any devil. At least...
* Just then Ash watches a full grown man wearing red pajamas, a giant "DD" on his chest and devil horns on his head. He also appears to be swinging through the air by some kind of rope type thing.*[/color]
Ash:...any devil I know.
* Ash reaches back for his sawed off double barrel shotgun he's deemed his "boomstick". It's gone.*[/color]
Ash: Damn, what I wouldn't give for my boomstick or chainsaw right now....
* And with that there's another slight flash in the sky right above Ash and a duffel bag falls from the sky, leveling Ash to the ground. Ash gets up grumbling, grabbing the bag as he looks up at the sky. *[/color]
Ash: Yeah, REAL funny. Bunch of chuckles....[/b]
* Ash pulls out his "boomstick". He checks to see if it's loaded and it is. He closes the gun and places it back in its sheath on his back. He closes up the duffel bag and makes his way down the street. *[/color]
Voice: Ashley Williams...[/color]
Ash: Huh?
* Ash turns toward the entrance of another one of those dark, dank alleys to see that old woman from before looking all Deadite like and floating in the hair....and appearing to be having an even worse hair day with her hair floating everywhere. *[/color]
Ash: Oh I thought I was rid of you, ya old biddy!
Deadite: No matter where you travel, for as long as you live, you'll never be rid of...the Necronomicon! Heed my warning Ashley Williams. We have seen the future: This world will die and an army of the dead will rise! [/color][/b]
Ash: Oh yeah? Well here's what I think of that...[/b]
* With that Ash drills a stiff left into the deadite's jaw, knocking it senseless onto the ground. Ash then grabs his trusty chainsaw from his bag, takes off his mechanical hand placing it in his bag, and connects the chainsaw to his right wrist. He starts the saw and straddles the deadite with the chainsaw raised into the air. Ash grabs the deadite by the throat. *[/color]
Ash: Alright, ya wrinkled up sack of deadite scum. Next on the menu...crone cutlets!
* Then, right as Ash was about to lay the death blow to the deadite, he's sent sailing off into a group of trash cans. As he hits his chainsaw dies. He gets up grumbling and kicks garbage cans out of his way. He brushes himself off with his left hand and begins to turn around.*[/color]
Ash: Oh, so I see that the ol' granny deadite here still has some tricks up her,
* Ash stops talking. The deadite was gone. He tilts his head as if to try and examine what exactly is standing where he was kneeling. It has rather long canines....and is slobbering blood. Nah, really?[/color]
Ash: Oh great! It's not bad enough I have to deal with stupid, uncoordinated zombie things...but NOW I have to deal with blood sucking vampires![/b]
* Ash grabs the bridge of his nose and begins to massage it as if getting a headache. Then the vampire growls and begins to make his move toward Ash. Ash notices this and goes to start his chainsaw. Nothing. He tries again. Still nothing. *[/color]
Ash: Oh for the love a,
* The vampire leaps through the air toward Ash. Then, as a last ditch effort, Ash pulls out his "boomstick". He points and fires and the shot echoes throughout the area. The vampires head explodes everywhere and the body crashes into the ground right at Ash's feet. Ash smirks and places a boot on the carcass as he twirls the shotgun around, blows the smoke from the barrel, and sheaths his "boomstick".[/color]
Ash: Be it the dead, living dead, or just the living stupid...Ashley J. Williams is re,
* Just then Ash looks down at his shirt. He grabs his shirt and pulls it away from him in disgust. Pieces of the vampire's blown up head was now taking up residence on Ash's shirt...his ONLY shirt to boot. He grabs his bag, replacing his mechanical hand and placing the saw back in his bag. He puts the strap to the bag over his shoulder as he begins to walk down the street. He looks down at his shirt again and throws his arms into the air.*[/color]
Ash: Great! Now I have to figure out a way to get this dang thing washed![/b]
* Ash continues down the street.*[/color]
